Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A Break in the Clouds

Standing outside in the cold. Bundled up, coat zipped. Hands in the pockets pushed as far in as possible to keep any breeze from seeping in the cracks. Moccasins on feet. Short breaths.


When we are out in the cold, it's really hard to not focus on getting and staying as warm as possible. When you're hit with it head on, literally, you can't turn your eye from the cold. It's right in front of you and it's all you feel.


Sometimes the cold is so breathtaking that in those moments you forget that warmth even exists. The cold is all you can know in those moments and you don't even think about what you're doing but your instincts kick in to find the warmth.


Then it happens. The breeze pauses for a moment in perfect time for the rays of sunlight to break through the clouds and hit your face with the momentarily forgotten hope of warmth. It exists. There's no better feeling then that.


What's your cold? What is the thing that is all you can think about? What situation do you feel stuck in and momentarily unable to see the hope?


Some times our "cold" lasts all winter and the sun doesn't shine at all. Sometimes the sun is shining but we are still stuck on the cold. But the good news is, it exists. He exists.

Monday, December 5, 2011

I've fallen and I can't get back up... Or so it seems

Just like you are right now is all, all that I need. Let's start over. Don't be afraid cause I won't keep track. Let's climb to the top. If you won't look down, I won't look back. 

Those words may be what gets me to sleep tonight. For months I've been lying to myself and they are truth echoing through the lies. 

I've been giving in to my desires and letting satan rule over my mind. He's convinced me that I am paralyzed by my situation. He's convinced me that I have control of my problems, I just can't overcome them yet. These convictions have led me to believe that I'm not good enough to be with God yet. I'm not good enough to get closer. I'm not good enough to deserve the top.  

I've never really grasped the seriousness of sin. I've seen it in the lives of others. I've witnessed how sin can destroy families, including my own. I've seen it ruin people and relationships. Despite it all, for some reason I find myself continually numb or immune to the power of sin. That's not to say I've never sinned, but more to say I've brushed off the consequences. I've taken advantage of grace.

That numbness has stolen from me the depth of God's love. 

Tonight, I refuse to be numb. I refuse to listen to satan's lies. The things I do hurt me. My sin outwardly effects me but inwardly effects others. It effects who I am and how I treat my relationships. I've mistreated Jesus. 

Tonight, I rebuke the lie that I have fallen and I can't get back up. I take back control of my mind from satan and return it to Papa. I'm starting over. He's not keeping track, He's not looking back, and I'm not looking down.

God wants me just as I am. He wants me. Broken. Messed up. Covered in mud. He wants me.

And the good news is... He wants you too.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Cold and Broken

My senses were heightened as a brisk wind hit me the short block and a half walk to get a sandwich on my lunch break. My ears were opened to the cries of angry people. My eyes were opened to the eyes of lonely people. My heart was opened to a homeless man who finds better love from a dog than the people passing him every day.


Despite the sirens and the chatter, the car engines and the wind, what echoed in my mind were the lyrics "it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah." Those words finally hit me and rang so true with a hurting world surrounding me.


We're all just beggars at His door crying out, and it's a cold and broken hallelujah.


I try to be kind and smile at as many people as possible. I hold a short conversation with the woman serving me in the lunch line. I hope and pray that those things are enough because right now I feel as if that's all I can do. Give a little kindness. Show a little love. Remind someone to be thankful for a warm work place.


But really, my heart breaks. My cold and broken hallelujah is that one that cries out for other people to wake up. My hallelujah praises in the hope that there is more. Be thankful for what you have. Give away what you don't need. Because your hallelujah may be for your family or your friends, your hallelujah might be for a new jacket or food for your pet, your hallelujah might be cold and broken, but it's not any more cold and broken than anyone elses. We're all crying out. We're all praising with a hallelujah. We're all cold and broken.


The only way to make those hallelujahs warm and whole is by being Jesus, by bringing Jesus into the cold and broken, by sharing love and smiles with those who need it just as much as you do. Because we're all drastically different, but we're all simply the same. We're all in need of a Savior. 


Be more. Do more.