Friday, July 18, 2008

but you will be safe in my arms...

posted on facebook: May 13

So prom is on Friday and apparently that means it's drunk driving week. We had an assembly yesterday and then a drunk driving simulator. That wasn't too bad. Kinda the same old same old. The simulator was cool the first time but then it was just repetitive. Today on the other hand was kind of eye-opening. Not in a oh man I have a problem I need help kind of way because well, I don't drink or do drugs, but in a hey God you're awesome kind of way. :]

You see there was a panel of recovering addicts. Addictions from cocaine to alcohol. Sobriety from 1 week to 6 years. Each person got up and gave their testimony. Hi I'm so and so, I've been sober for 6 months, this is how I started, this is how I got help. Four of the six people graduated from Truman. Two of which I remember seeing in the halls. None of which I expected to see up there telling me about AA.

I started getting a little anxious when my butt grew sore from sitting in the wooden seats. I was pretty fidgety trying to find a comfortable spot. I sat there thinking why am I here? Why is this such a big deal?

Then Ashley, the third one to speak was talking to us. She was saying how she got to a point where it was go get high again and die, or pull into the parking lot of Truman and get help. She talked about how she changed her way of life and how this problem that she had was so much bigger than her. How she needed a higher power, and her higher power is God. She said she gets on her knees and prays every day for God to help her be strong, to help her overcome this addiction.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.
- Jeremiah 29:12-14

Another guy, Matt, told us a story about how his step dad wanted him to come to the casino with him. He knew that he shouldn't, but as soon as his step dad said it would be fine, he started to doubt his choice. Hey maybe it will be fine. Maybe I can just go. But he knew inside he couldn't. He said he prayed the whole way there for God to help him, for God to tell him what to do. Matt isn't 21 yet, but he knew that the place they were going let underage people in all the time. I guess not when those underage people have God on their side. His step dad tried everything to get him in, but those guys in the red coats would not let it happen. I bet there were wings under those red coats.

So as I left that auditorium, thinking about everything I just heard, I realized why I was there. There was one common strength among all of those people. God.

God was speaking to me. God was speaking to me through a group of alcoholics. Through a group of Him. I left ashamed that my relationship with my Father isn't as good as theirs. It shouldn't take a disease taking our lives over to see that God is all we need. I shouldn't have to hit rock bottom before I get down on my knees and ask for help.

I thought it was so awesome to see these people who were just like me and my peers. They were just like the people I talk to every day who I think would want nothing to do with God.

One of the major points the panel made was that people go to alcohol because they hate themselves. The alcohol made them feel like they were a better person, the person they wanted to be, but with the help of AA they realized what they were doing and now they really are themselves, living the lives they want to live. Well today I realized that I'm not living the life I want to live. No I don't hate myself. No I don't use alcohol to make me who I want to be. But I do hold back because of what people might think about me. I need to start living like Jesus. Seeing God in every person and hoping that they want to know Him, unafraid of persecution. You never know who wants, or more importantly NEEDS God. So I'm gonna skip the whole alcoholic part and go straight to the live a better life part.

Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.
- 1 Chronicles 28:20

I guess another reason I was so wowed by the assembly was because of the open use of God and the idea of a relationship with Him in school. It's ok to talk about Him when we're addicted to something and need Him to help us out, but other then that He's useless. No one broke out in offense because a higher power was being talked about. No one debated their ideas. It's crazy that someone so big and great can help so many people beat addiction, but He can't be talked about in school.

For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners. - Matthew 9:13

God speaks to us in many ways. You have to open your eyes and find Him. Find Him in the alcohols at AA. Find Him in the orphans in Honduras. Find Him in your mom.

I pray that we all open our eyes to blessings God has given us. That we all see how much we take for granted and we be thank for it. I pray that we see Jesus everywhere. That we put on our Jesus glasses and love everyone.

Tomorrow is the mock crash. I'm sure I'll cry a lot. It's going to be a rough day.

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