some songs and thoughts

These are some songs that have been special to me lately. I thought I'd share them with you, along with some thoughts about them. It's pretty long. What can I say?

Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn't always this tall.
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed.
You watched my team win, you watched my team lose.
You watched when my bicycle went down again.
And when I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call you by name.
And I said elbow healer, super hero, come if you can.
And you said I am.

Only sixteen, life is so mean.
What kind of curfew is at ten p.m.?
You saw my mistakes, you watched my heart break.
Heard when I swore I'd never love again.
When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call you by name.
And I said heartache healer, secret keeper, be my best friend.
And you said I am.

You saw me wear white, by a pale candle light.
I said forever to what lies ahead.
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream.
Too much it might seem when it's two a.m.
And when I am weak, unable to speak, still I will call you by name.
Oh Shepard, Savior, pasture maker, hold on to my hand.
You say I am.

The winds of change and circumstance blow in and all around us.
So we find a foothold that's familiar,
and bless the moments that we feel you nearer.
When life had begun I was woven and spun.
you'd let the angels dance around the throne,
and who can say when, but they'll dance again
when I am free and finally headed home.
I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call you by name.
Creator, maker, life sustainer, comforter, healer,
my redeemer, Lord and King, beginning and the end.
I am. Yes I am.

-Nichole Nordeman.I am

As I sat in the gazebo, in the heart of Camp Manatawny, with the sun shining on me, it warmed my soul. He was there every day. He IS there every day. But what softened my heart was this song, when Donna played it during class last summer. That class changed my life and opened my eyes to what an amazing God is at my fingertips, who wants my love. My eyes were opened and I saw all the possibilities that were there for me, but I didn't understand. This summer was like the next step. God took what I had learned last summer, and put it into play. My heart was open and softened last summer, I knew something was missing, I knew I needed more, and I needed to do more, and now it has all fallen into place. I feel complete, and ready to live my life for Him. It's crazy how perfect His timing is. It's just like a good TV show. In the beginning there are some boring episodes, and it seems like the plot is moving so slow, or the episodes seem like there is no meat, no climax, and just as you're about to stop watching, it all comes together, and you see that the boring ones were just setting you up for something much, much bigger. The only difference is for my life that bigger better thing isn't a reunited family, it isn't a renewed love for an old boyfriend, it isn't an old friend brought back into the picture...It's eternal life with my God =]

Can I sing you a song, about what happens when you're gone?
My whole world seems to fall, and I don't feel like myself at all.
I must confess that it's true. That I'm nothing without you.
We're two souls turned into one, cause without you I feel undone.

Can I sing you a song, about what happens when you're gone?
Everything around comes crashing down, and I find myself on the ground.
I must confess that it's true. That I'm nothing without you.
We are two souls turned into one, cause without you I feel undone.

I must confess that it's true. That I'm nothing without you.
We are two souls turned into one, cause without you I feel undone.

-Shawn McDonald.Confess

I feel that this song explains my relationship with my God. I have grown so close to Him, closer then I've ever been. I pray that that closeness continues to grow, and that I never let it go. I would be nothing without Him. He gave me life, so I give mine up to Him. I pray that I fulfill His will for me, that I be the light he wants me to be.

The more I seek you, the more I find you.
The more I find you, the more I love you.
I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand,
lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat.
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming.

The more I seek you, the more I find you.
The more I find you, the more I love you.
I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand,
lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat.
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming.

I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand,
lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat.
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace.

Oh I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand,
lay back and against you and breath, feel your heart beat.
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace.

-Kari Jobe.The More I Seek You

This song just touches a soft spot on my heart. I pray that I can love this deep. I pray that I seek God with all my heart and love him so much that this world doesn't matter anymore. Paul comes to mind. In Phillipians Paul says to live is Christ and to die is gain. To die is gain? I know that heaven is unimaginably better then where we are now, but I could not truly say that I would rather be there with all my heart, because I have so many earthly desires, so many selfish dreams. I pray that I too can say the things Paul says, and have this intimate love.

The saddest thing is you could be anything, that you could want.
We could have been everything, but now we're not.
Now it's not anything at all.
The hardest part was getting this close to you.
And giving up this dream I built with you, a fairytale that isn't coming true.
You've got some growing up to do.

I wish we could have worked it out.
I wish I didn't have these doubts.
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now.
I wish I didn't know inside that it won't work out for you and I.
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye.

After the things you put me through, tell me why I'm still in love with you.
And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call?
You broke my heart, I'm taking it back from you.
I'm taking back the life I gave to you.
Live goes on before and after you.
I've got some growing up to do.

I wish we could have worked it out.
I wish I didn't have these doubts.
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you're doing now.
I wish I didn't know inside that it won't work out for you and I.
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye.

It's time I said my last goodbye.
It's time I said my last goodbye.
Goodbye...

-Superchick.Wishes

It's crazy how much this song relates to me. It totally speaks my relationship with Joe. I hope that my last goodbye has been said, and that I'm moving on.

So what I'm not your average girl.
I don't meet the standards of this world.
Chasing after boys is not my thing.
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring.

No more dating I'm just waiting.
Like sleeping beauty, my prince will come for me.
No more dating I'm just waiting.
Cause God is writing my love story.

Boys are bad, that's certainly not true,
Cause God is preparing one for you.
If you get tired waiting til he comes,
God's arms are the perfect place to run.

No more dating I'm just waiting.
Like sleeping beauty, my prince will come for me.
No more dating I'm just waiting.
Cause God is writing my love story.

Sleep. That's the only thing for me,
cause when I sleep, God's preparing one for me.

No more dating I'm just waiting.
Like sleeping beauty, my prince will come for me.
No more dating I'm just waiting.
Cause God is writing my love story.

-Barlowgirl.Average Girl

Instead I want to be singing this song. I want to have patience and know that God will send my guy right along, right when I'm ready.

And this week the trend was to not wake up till 3pm.
I picked the few conscious hours that I chose to spend and slept away the rest of them.

And this week the trend was to crash and burn and then return again,
to practice the life that I pretend provides enough to get me through the weekend.

so I say, get me a solution
and watch me run with it
and then you gave, you gave me a solution
what have I done with it?
cause I was absolutely sure I had it all figured out
way back then
and now it's this minute, this hour, this day

And this week the trend was to backstab every single one of my friends
and leave a voicemail message trying to make amends
all the while hoping things work out in the end

and this week the trend was to borrow all the strength that you could lend
to keep my head above the water and not descend
back to where I said I'd never go again

So I say, give me a solution
and watch me run with it
and then you gave
you gave me a solution
what have I done with it?
cause I was absolutely sure I had it all figured out
way back then
but after this day it's this week all over again

And I just want to get mugged at knifepoint
to get cut enough to wake me up.
cause I know that I don't want to die
sitting around watching my life go by.
and what we take from this is what we'll get
and we haven't quite figured it out just yet
because all of us are all too stuck
strapped to a chair watching our lives blow up
stuck watching our lives blow up

-Relient K.This Week the Trend

Sometimes this song describes me a little better than I want it too. I waste so much time. I pray that I wake up and use my time wisely, because I want my life to glorify God and I'm surely not glorifying Him by sitting at the computer doing nothing, or on the couch watching TV. I pray that I use the resources I have been given to expand my knowledge and grow in my relationship.



Father God, just for today, help me walk your narrow way.
Help stand when I might fall, give me the strength to hear your call.
May my steps be worship, may my thoughts be praise,
may my words bring honor to your name.
May my steps be worship, may my thoughts be praise,
may my words bring honor to your name.

Father God, help me to see, your smiling face, right next to me.
Open up my heart's blind eyes, and lead me to your glory divine.
May my steps be worship, may my thoughts be praise,
may my words bring honor to your name.
May my steps be worship, may my thoughts be praise,
may my words bring honor to your name.

-Express.Just For Today

I try to sing this song to myself every morning. I think it's the perfect way to start the day, and get your focus on God. I like to take things day by day, because I often think to far, and get ahead of myself. I don't know what God has in store for me, so I have no right to make plans for myself, until I know what His plan is. If it's not what He wants, it's most likely not going to work out anyway. I pray that I start every day off on the right foot, and if for whatever reason I don't start on the right foot, I end on it.